We all get scared sometimes. It's how we react to fear that defines and molds the outcome of the moment and leaves a lasting impact on ourselves and others involved. Sometimes it is prudent to turn and run. Sometimes it is right to stay and face your fear, or help others face theirs. And sometimes it is perfectly acceptable to not know what to do, seek help, and spend time working out the problem until you are no longer afraid of it.
Many people in positions of power use fear-based messaging to maintain or gain more power. This method uses hate and the art of persuasion to subtly control our thoughts and feelings, making us believe things that simply aren't true. I believe there is a strong connection between fear-based messaging, and a core teaching of the Christian church, specifically, that we are to "fear and love God". Think about this teaching - an all powerful ruler is wanting us to fear and love them in order to live a happy and well-adjusted life on earth. What examples in world history can you think of with leaders/rulers demanding the same of their subjects/citizens? Has this biblical teaching been internalized and used to achieve and hold power by narcissists, corrupt leaders, and other people in positions of power?
I am not saying that I believe all Christians have tendencies towards fear-based messaging, or will fall into the trap of one who uses it. I was raised in the church, went to University to become a Lutheran school teacher, and spent many years with many good people who have strong faith, and love unconditionally. But there has also been many harmful doctrines and policies created by church leaders that have been, and continue to be, followed blindly by parishioners. More to come on that in Part 2 (Blind Trust or Ignorance?).
Part 1 (Roots)
I distinctly remember studying and learning this mantra in my Sunday School, Confirmation and Bible Study classes: "we should fear and love God" . More skilled, knowledgeable and compassionate Pastors and Sunday School teachers would often strike a healthy balance between the two, explaining that loving and being fearful of an omnipotent (can do anything) , omniscient (knows everything), and omnipresent (is everywhere) Creator God would lead to a healthy relationship with God, and then by extension, with others. We would be assured of all our needs being met on earth and in the afterlife if we held the right amount of healthy fear (obeying God's commands) and love (gratefulness and trust in his benevolence) towards this unknown entity.
However, there were (and still are) some church leaders that would strike an unhealthy balance of those opposing forces, landing much more on the fear side, producing threat-based statements like, "if you do/don't do this, then this will happen" as well as an emphasis on such ideas as "spare the rod, spoil the child". This type of authoritative church leadership was paramount in the day to day operations of Residential Schools.
Take a moment and think about how children can be affected by fear-based messaging. There are many possibilities: Some may fall in line and obey all rules and take all punishments bravely, developing a hard shell, others may become meek, mild and timid, withdrawing into themselves, others may lash out in rebellion, still others may overcome the unbalanced approach and somehow on their own, find the balance that exists between fear and love. What is concerning to me in this particular discussion is how POWER is part of the equation. How power is used, internalized, and defined in fear-based messaging, is the focus of this post.
People who use fear to control others, seek POWER over others.
Think of the common parenting technique shared above "spare the rod, spoil the child" as a perfect example of one with power (parent) seeking to control one without power (child) to maintain their authority in the relationship and ultimately get the child to do what they want them to do. In this fear-based relationship, violence in various forms would be employed to subdue the child (physical, psychological, emotional).
Now imagine that same parent-child relationship flipped from being fear-based to love-based. How would this type of parent respond to a misbehaving child? How would the child respond to a parent who approached the situation with a loving desire to understand the child's needs and reason for "acting out" and then develop a just and fair method of restitution so the child can be brought back into balance within the family?
I'll ask you now to imagine the children of these two distinct parenting techniques as grown adults in positions of power. What tendencies and behaviours will they exhibit? What internal conflicts will they have? How will they view themselves? How will they view others? What motivates them? Are they happy and content? Have they become good leaders?
Stay tuned for Part 2 (Blind Trust or Ignorance?), Part 3 (Now that I See it I can't Unsee it), and Part 4 (The Power of Love). The next three posts will begin to unpack how the colonial mindset is based on the desire for individual power and utilizes fear-based messaging to control others. We'll explore what we can do to recognize these tendencies in ourselves and how to reprogram our thoughts and actions to be less fear-based and more love-based. And finally, begin to understand the power we have to affect change within ourselves, and learn how to become collaborative and creative problem-solvers in order to build the community, country, and world we want to live in.
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